The D Word / by James Curran

Im gonna say it.

The D word.

Are you ready?

. . . . Divorce (whisper voice)

Now before you throw your hands in the air and block this site from your children and your children's children . . . give me a chance.

The reason why I bring it up is because lately its been happening all around me. I feel like an equal number of people in my circle of influence are either getting married or calling it quits.

And for someone, like me, who is about to "tie the knot" I cant help but ponder over the what ifs and unknowns that lie ahead.

My parents got divorced when I was 4 and I honestly, I cant remember a time when they were together. To this day I still don't understand the events that led to the split. My father has always explained that it was extremely difficult, almost impossible, to live with her; while my mother proceeded to paint my fragile mind with graphic and disturbing images of the so called "sick and abusive" things my father had done. This was coming from the woman who grabbed my head and slammed it against a table, causing my nose to bleed out profusely when I was 9. Why would she do that you ask?  . . . . Because I didn't want eat eggplant. When I grew older I realized that my mother wasn't someone I wanted to trust as a reliable source.

Either way I am extremely empathetic to the children who deal with divorce. If you do have children and are deciding to make this decision . . Fine, but I beg you . . . speak nothing but kind things about your ex-spouse. Hold them in the highest regards. Divorce already does life-shattering irreversible damage to a child's mind. If you're choosing to describe your former partner in any negative light, all you are doing is making it harder on them when they grow up and have to develop lasting relationships.

For me divorce was just part of life and I had to adjust accordingly, however I'm positive I had a far from ideal situation....