You know that story about the two toads?
One toad is put into a pot of hot water and immediately jumps out. The other one is placed in room temperature H20; the heat slowly turned up until the toad boils to a horrible doom.
You probably noticed I haven't blogged in forever, and honestly its because I felt like a giant hypocrite. I had slowly been cooking into a disgusting soup of apathy.
My testimony was never in question, I mean I would argue the truth of the Book of Mormon and tell you Joseph Smith was a prophet until I was blue in the face, but for some reason picking up my scriptures, kneeling down to pray before I went to bed, or showing up for church was like asking me to move a car with my bare hands. It became such a "task" that I didn't even try.
I knew the whole time what I should be doing, always making excuses like... "I'll do it tomorrow" or "I'll just go next week" knowing full well that my soul was trapped under that car and I was the only one who could move it.
The hard part about drifting into this state of mind is you leave a slippery slope of laziness behind you, and its a hard upward battle back to the top. This means you have to be super motivated to not give up and push though a path of habit you created naturally that wants nothing more than to drag you back to the bottom.
For me its was hitting a wall of failure over and over again in the bottom of this terrible soupy pit. I had goals. I had desires. I have dreams. And they just weren't being achieved where I was at. Ultimately I wanted a family. A wife thats loyal and dedicated, and kids I can shower with love like I never got. I realized that I'm spending all this time and money striking out on my own, where-as-if I do things the Lord's way he can put the PERFECT person for me right in my path.
So here I am down in the trenches looking up at what I want most in life; a family, smiling down at me the with Lord standing right next to them, the temple in the background, and each of them with an outstretched hand.
I don't want to say I'm out of the trenches yet but the "task" doesn't seem nearly as impossible.
I've been posting pictures of temples a lot lately. And yes temples are beautiful and I hope you all have enjoyed them, but honestly its mostly for me reminding me where I'm trying to get and what the Lord wants me to do.
If you have slipped into a pattern of apathy or laziness, I know you might feel content, but I promise you living the way the spirit is pleading with you to live will bless you, and get you far closer to your goals.
Nothing feels better than Faith.
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